


I don't need medicines, I need your love

by Jiman, Kimjiman23 (Jiman)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Kim Junmyeon | Suho centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 15:42:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20978339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jiman/pseuds/Jiman, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jiman/pseuds/Kimjiman23
Summary: Tick Tock rang the clock.Tick Tock, Joonmyeon had lost.





	I don't need medicines, I need your love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [junmyeol (fujoshi)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fujoshi/gifts).

> Inspired by:
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I7LeFyNmJxc

Joonmyeon ran straight ahead. 

_ Tick Tock. Tick Tock.  _

Time was running out. He had to reach the end. Somehow, despite all his attempts, Joonmyeon couldn't reach the other side. 

But he had to. He _ really had to.  _ The person on the other side was  _ his  _ person. That person was the only thing he had left in this world. And if he lost that person just because  _ he  _ was not fast enough, then that would shatter him. He kept on running; fire was burning in his lungs, his breathing rugged and coming out in stutters. 

It wasn't supposed to be this way. Joonmyeon had come out of their shared apartment with a smile on his face, never anticipating this outcome. How oblivious he had been, how clueless, how  _ stupid.  _ How had he thought this could last forever. How had he even considered it. 

Joonmyeon was almost there. The unending sidewalk finally led to his building, and Joonmyeon couldn't help but sink in the feeling of hope. 

He hoped so bad that it would all be fine. That he would go inside, see for himself everything was fine, take the other in his arms, and laugh it off. He wished, yearned, ached; hoped,  _ desperately hoped _ . 

He had entered the building, seeing the elevators come into view. He didn't have the patience for that. Choosing the other alternative, Joonmyeon rushed up the stairs quickly. 

His legs were on fire,, the muscles protesting and screaming at him to stop. But Joonmyeon persisted, the voice mail he had received half an hour ago repeating through his head: 

“ _ I'm sorry. I love you, but I can't. Not anymore. Please forgive me if you can.”  _

Joonmyeon tripped. He fell face first onto the stair, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His head was filled with thoughts. He forced himself up in a rush, ignoring the blood oozing out of his palm. He shouldn't have stopped being cautious. He should've tried harder to reach, tried harder to understand; maybe then he wouldn't have been in this position. Maybe then the other person would have taken pity on him and not—

No. They couldn't leave. They couldn't leave. 

Please don't leave. Please don't leave.  _ Please, please— _

He opened the door of exiting the stairs on his floor the moment it came into view. His apartment was only a few steps away. Joonmyeon rushed the last steps and banged in the door, but it was open. 

It was never open. Joonmyeon in his five years of living here had never seen it unlocked. 

_ Oh no.  _

_ No no no no—  _

Joonmyeon rushed in. His heart beating so fast in his chest that it drowned out the sound of his own labored breathing. 

Thw living room was empty. The curtains on the windows shut and the pink couch completely devoid of any of the clothing that Joonmyeon had left there before leaving. The carpet was spotless, and the TV on. 

Everything was too clean, too perfect, too pristine. 

_ No no no no— _

Joonmyeon rushed into his bedroom, but no one was present there either. Everything was perfectly clean here too. The sheets arranged, the blankets folded, the stray papers on the work table all put away. The house was so perfect that Joonmyeon felt chills in him. This wasn't home. 

This wasn't the way  _ his  _ home was. 

Joonmyeon didn't care about the details. He rushed towards the bathroom, but before he could reach it, he tripped again. 

This time Joonmyeon hurt his head. All the blood in his body rushed towards it, and for a while Joonmyeon’s thought process stopped. He must have lied there for a few seconds, but as soon as his reasoning returned, Joonmyeon forced himself onto his feet. 

He was slower this time. His head was spinning, his whole body aching from all the running Joonmyeon had done for the past half an hour; as soon as he had listened to the voice mail. 

Joonmyeon paused before opening the wooden bathroom door. The sound of water running quelching the hope inside him. His person never wasted water, just like how they didn't leave any of the electricity or the TV on when unneeded. A feeling of despair settled deep in his gut. Joonmyeon’s eyes soaked up with tears that was completely unrelated to all the injuries or the pain he was physically going through. Rather it had everything to do with his heart. 

Joonmyeon felt like his heart had been ripped apart and squeezed continously. 

Joonmyeon opened the door.

A loud sob rang alongside the sound of the tiptap of water falling into the filled tub. 

_ Tick Tock _ .  _ Tick Tock.  _

The pale skin and the whitened lips told Joonmyeon all that he needed to know. The bloodied water and the wounded hand showed Joonmyeon all he had needs to see. Joonmyeon had lost. 

A scream rang throughout the apartment; Joonmyeon didn't even have the mind to recognize it. 

Joonmyeon had lost. 

Joonmyeon walked towards the tub and fell onto his knees. All his strength had dissipated, his body and mind both wrapped by the bubble of numbness. Joonmyeon slowly raised the others torso out of the tub and wrapped his arms around the cold body. 

Joonmyeon had lost. 

_ Tick Tock. Tick Tock.  _

Once upon a time, the person in his arms had told Joonmyeon that he was broken. Once upon a time they had warned him to stay away, as loving them would leave them nothing but scars. But Joonmyeon, naive Joonmyeon had thought that maybe once, if only once he showed his only person that life was worth living, then maybe, just maybe they'll stay. 

But they didn't. 

In the quiet solitude of holding his person in his arms, Joonmyeon saw everything for what it was. 

An illusion. All just a daydream to mask the cruelty of fate. 

_ “I love you.”  _ Joonmyeon had sent. 

_I'm sorry. I love you, but I can't. Not anymore. Please forgive me if you can.” _They had replied. 

Joonmyeon’s voice still rasped out one name despite all his pain, “ _ Chanyeol….”  _

  
But he never heard it back. 


End file.
